Svaddisthana—The Negative Archetype-The Martyr

The martyr will often take some responsibility for their own situation, which is different than the victim.  However, they are not strong enough to take steps to change their situation from suffering to the happiness that all of us deserve.  This often happens because at some level they believe that they do not deserve to be happy.  They will sacrifice their needs and wants so serve those of others.

Like the victim they feel helpless to change their circumstance.  They will stay in situations that are not wholesome or healthy, and depletes their well-being.  This is because the martyr feels they are not entitled to happiness, therefore it can suffer for years.  Often the martyr feels they are doing “what is best” for their children and spouses, by always serving their needs, and denying their own needs.  This can often lead to bitterness and anger; this is especially true if those the martyr suffers for do not acknowledge the sacrifice the martyr is making.  In denying their true self the martyr gives up its own needs and want, and sets itself up for heartache and bitterness.

This next section is a small quote from Ambika Wauters Chakras and the Archetypes:

“Our culture validates sacrifice and sometimes encourages people to give up their dreams for the sake of others.  Nothing will disempower a person quicker than feeling they must give up their dreams for someone else’s happiness.  Whether it is done for approval or because of a desire to be loved and looked after, it diminishes a person when they do not choose to live their own lives.’

‘Many people collude with the martyr to carry on suffering rather than to take the risks which will transform its life.  Families and friends unconsciously (or consciously in some cases that I have seen-added by Shatril) encourage the martyr to continue its tasks of looking after others so that they are free of the responsibility of having to do it”;( i.e., taking care of aging parents with little or no aid from other siblings. Added by Shatril) –End quote

When the martyr looks like it may break out of the mold, others may make all kinds of negative remarks and actions that are really saying “go back to the way you were, because we don’t know how to handle this new you”.  It scares them to watch the martyr break the pattern because they may then have to learn to do for themselves and find ways to attain for themselves those things which had previously been provided through the sacrifice of the martyr.  All the pressure to return to previous behaviors may return the martyr to its proper place.  It is not easy for martyrs to change their pattern; those who have benefited from their sacrifice often collude to keep them in “their place”. 

Another aspect of the long suffering martyr is its ability to pass their behavior down to their children.  This is down through blame and guilt which then breeds dysfunctional adults.  Most people do not want the think that someone has sacrificed for them, and lots of negative energy such as blame and guilt is generated when the martyr exercises its power to punish others for its sacrifices.  They have suffered so other should also.

“During my seminars when I ask the audience how many can relate to being a Rescuer, a servant, or a Martyr, most hands go up.  Many people resonate to this trilogy because our culture has replaced its emphasis on the virtues of the rugged individual with obsession about victimization.  These three archetypes are patterns of disempowerment, but don’t confuse occasional feelings of martyrdom or a few incidents of rescuing people who were in emotional or financial crisis with an archetype.  We have all helped people, and we have all had “martyr attacks.” ~~Caroline Myss in Sacred Contracts.   We will find that upon occasion we have all exhibited and will continue to   upon occasion exhibit characteristics of all of these archetypes, and this is normal.  What is undesirable is to live ones life out in a negative archetype that controls ones life to the detriment of our mind, body and soul.  This very thing is what can be prevented by the exercises that are provided in this and all the other exercises provided in these lessons.

To move away from the martyr is not easy.  This archetype is often respected and encouraged by society and the people who benefit from its sacrifice.  The first step here is to deeply examine this pattern within you.  Accept that you always have a choice.  You can choose to remain where you are, or choose to step outside of this pattern.  The second thing you need to know is that all people deserve to be happy!!  Everyone deserves to be Happy!!!; including you.  Sometimes we need to realize that the risk of change is worth the effort.  Suffering can be a way for someone to feel special, and with the emphasis that our society puts on martyrdom as a positive way to be in life, it may be hard to move away from that long suffering archetype to something that is healthier for you emotionally and physically.

The choice to be happy is available to us all.

Recognizing the Martyr

Answer the following questions.  Be ruthless in your examination of your answer, and be totally honest with yourself.

• Is it better to give than receive?
• Is someone else more worthy to receive good things than you?
• Do you feel that you are entitled to happiness?
• Do you feel that you deserve the good things in life?
• Is it necessary to sacrifice to have the good things?
• Must you suffer a chronically bad situation to have the good things?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to consider the possibility that you may be operating from a Martyr Archetype.

Exercises to break away from the Martyr Archetype

“The position of the Martyr can be stuck and entrenched.  This is because the Martyr truly believes it is doing the right thing for itself even at the expense of its aliveness and well-being.  It thinks sacrifice is good for the self.  This leaves a large residue of anger and resentment for everyone to deal with and invites contempt and difficulties.  Through sacrifice the Martyr hides its inability or unwillingness to develop its life.  It gets caught in rescuing and fixing other people’s lives, often giving up its own creativity, sexuality and health to do this.  Perhaps worst of all, the Martyr expects sacrifice in return from others as acceptable behavior, when in fact sacrifice erodes people’s potential for a rich and fulfilling life.”  ~~Amibika Wauters in Chakras and their Archetypes.

1. Recall a time when you felt like a martyr.  How did you feel?  Write down on a piece of paper what emotions you experience when you recall this situation.
2. What did you gain and what were your expectations when you made this sacrifice?
3. Do you resent this sacrifice?
4. Are you willing and able to take responsibility for this situation without guilt or self-recrimination.  Your ability to do so will aid you to avoid this situation again.
5. Can you accept your need for love and appreciation?  Can you accept that your willingness to sacrifice yourself was an attempt to win love and approval from others?  Can you accept that you needn’t sacrifice yourself to be loved?  Love belongs to you simply because you exist.  If this is too difficult for you to accept give some thought to your feelings of entitlement to love and happiness.

Meditation to Release the Martyr Archetype

 Ground and relax is whatever method suits you.  Play music or burn incense if you choose.  When you feel relaxed and calm begin this visualization.

Visualize a situation in which you felt like a martyr, where you felt you were sacrificing your creativity and happiness for someone else or a cause.  Feel the emotions that this visualization brings up.  Are you angry? Resentful? Disappointed? Unbelieving?  Feel them to their fullest, now say (aloud or in your head) “I am (define the emotion) at you (the person or group) for not seeing what I sacrificed for you.”  Say it until you feel that you have been heard by those who have caused this emotion.

Now imagine that you have been recognized for the sacrifice.  Imagine that the person or group is saying:  “I/we see what you have sacrificed and are grateful to you for this.  I/we release you from this need so that you may do what is necessary for yourself.”  Repeat this until you are convinced of its validity.  Once you are convinced say “I release this into the Earth so that this energy may be recycled in a positive way.”

Repeat this process as many times as you feel necessary to release yourself from the bonds of the Martyr.  You should also use it whenever you feel yourself slipping into this archetype.

Activities to Thwart the Martyr

The quickest way to keep the Martyr at bay is to do those things that you enjoy.  Do things that make you happy, and that are rewarding in and of themselves.  Listen to your inner spark of the divine when it suggests some activity that you will enjoy.  And to the degree that you can without being carted off to jail for child neglect stop the sacrifice of yourself and your creativity for others.  As often as possible do something that you enjoy, such as visiting friends, talking on the phone, write a poem, paint, craft something. 

Do the confirmations for this chakra.

The positive archetype will be posted soon.